N, a teacher of teachers in Baghdad tries to come to the US to meet the students in New York that have been corresponding with her students in Baghdad for 3 years. She plans to speak with students and educators about the importance of building bridges and about the healing power of telling stories from within the grip of prolonged trauma. The US embassy has sent her an email instructing her to come to Amman, Jordan to pick up her visa to the US.
The trip to Amman from Baghdad left a joy and a deep pin prick. A week of joy with Bruce and Mark left a sigh in me to meet again to make peace engagements with the US students…a sigh for not having visa to meet the wonderful students in the other side of the world who have sent their blessing and wishes of peace and stability to all their Iraqi counterparts…a sigh that hopes of building a new bridge between two peaceful sides that were now gone with out achieving the most important goal of tolerance and friendship between them.
Why do evil actions prevail quickly more than love and good actions in our world? Why do well intentions have to be stumbled over in the path of peace while violence sets out like a rocket to destroy any who try for peace?
I tried what I could: I came to Amman twice, on the 24th -August 2006 I had an interview with the Americans in the US embassy for the first time while the second one was in December2006 as a response to their request to pick up my visa. I was so worried concerning the second trip because I already knew it would be full of surprises and my worries were true.
The trip was full of troubles from the very beginning because the daily life in Baghdad was in so much danger. The driver told us not to bring much money and advised us not wear jewelry because the road to Jordan might have bandits and we did follow his advice. In the morning of the 20th of December 2006 I was waiting the mini van at 6:00, I heard a huge blast in the neighborhood and I realized there will be a delay. The driver came about an hour late because the American troops were spread in the streets and he had to wait for their permission to set out. We (me and the driver and two women from the same neighborhood) were supposed to move at 6:00 am and we had to be early because there would be a lot of delay on the border to Amman. The driver had to change from the highway road, which is better and quicker, onto the local unpaved ones because the American troops blocked the highway for their convoys. Near the city of Rutba (before the Iraqi borders) we were forced to stop by a group of masked and armed men, this was the first time in my life to know the meaning of frozen blood…I felt that the blood under my skin was frozen. They were six, one of them holding large silver pistol while the others were armed with machine guns .They asked us about our direction then wished us a peaceful trip. I thought they were bandits…but Thanks God they weren’t.
Our packages and bodies were checked and examined carefully and the Jordanian police women’s scrutiny was more than natural. The two women who traveled with me were confused and cautious. They protested the way of body checking…me I didn’t say anything this time because I did the same protest in the first trip…so I already knew their rules…and my protest will not change anything so I decided to respect my words by silence.
The Jordanian passport office allowed me a week to stay in Amman after knowing the reason of the trip. Then I can pay for staying further. Each week costs 10, 500 JD. I reached Amman about 10:00 pm.
On 24th Sunday morning I went to the American Embassy to give my passport and my ID documents to find out that no body in the Embassy because it is the Christmas days!! They asked me to come on Tuesday and I did and did all the procedures they asked me to do: going to Aramex Company to hand my passport along with my ID documents and wait for a week to get them.
Meanwhile Bruce was there with me through the e-mail messages, I was keen to tell him everything in details…he was great support to me when hopes got feeble. He sent a lot of messages to many friends who could help and support my visa to show up …many people from different peace organizations and they did what they could do.
Bruce had sent me their messages and their honest willingness and support to be there …I did really want to be there with such good peaceful people…to me it was an opportunity to have new good friends, new family from the other side of the world…I did not expect to have such support and solidarity from them, I wanted to thank each one of them face to face for everything but I was unlucky, after 2 weeks I received no visa. Why? I am not convinced with the US embassy justifications which they have told me and I hope to know one day.
As usual Bruce was there to share my disappointment, he was more than a father, a friend and a family. His decision to fly to Amman on13th of January and to enquire about my visa made the trip colorful. We also worked and decided to continue and add newness to the 121Contact project of our students.
Bruce and his son Mark stayed in Amman for a week and I am going to write about the most beautiful and exciting moments with them in another email message, inshallah.
(I know you are there reading these lines with other friends and I know you are bored with my saying THANKS to you but I have to say it in public now…many thanks and Allah bless you…dear Bruce.)
It is hard to forget my dear friend and sister in Amman, the special L, whose help was there from the very beginning in supporting me in my 2 trips. Words are not enough to express my gratitude.
I decided to return to dear Baghdad, though my family and friends asked me not to do so. The situation is still dangerous; it is getting harder day after day, I might be killed in any minute or kidnapped and tortured for being a Muslim living in a Sunni neighborhood though I hate such difference but reality obliged me to say so. What a silly reason to be killed for while criminals and rapists are free in this world.
Thanks to all of you.
Love to you all,
N